My Blog

To Instant Pot or Not

MtnMan had an instant pot before I moved in, and I’ve said for 5 years now that I need to try that damn thing, but when I look at it, it’s way too complex for me so I use the crockpot instead. Three weeks ago I decided enough of that malarky. I’m using it! I chose ribs for my first trial. I say trial because I’m not sold on it. I mean, it was the latest craze several years ago, but I don’t get it, honestly. I just don’t get it.

My first experience was an utter fucking disaster. First off, it took me several minutes to force the lid closed. I had to get on a step stool to manhandle it! That should not be the case. Then, I forgot to close the fucking latch for it to keep the steam in. What the fuck kind of design is that? It’s a pressure cooker/instant pot. Shouldn’t it just automatically hold the steam? Nope, gotta add an extra step that I find completely unnecessary. My next hurdle came when the recipe instructed a setting that was not an option on this fancy dandy instant pot. After spending several minutes of asking the google machine for help, finding none, I made an executive decision and just hit a button that had the correct amount of time needed. Fuck if I know what that was, but it worked. The ribs turned out great. I was perturbed, but whatever. MtnMan gets home, I tell him my troubles of getting the fucking lid locked in place, so he tries and sure as fuck, he has the same problem and he is puzzled. I felt vindicated! Yes. So to the trash the instant pot goes! …. NOPE. Upon inspection, someone placed the inside seal upside down, which made it next to impossible to get it to lock in place. Once the seal was flipped over, it closed as it should. I was that someone. I put the seal in wrong. *eye roll*

My second experience was not near as bad, but frustrating all the same. I made sausage and rice gumbo. I used a recipe that used buttons that this fancy dandy instant pot has. That’s easy enough. Fail proof. Wrong. It called for 10 minutes but the rice was not even close to being cooked. I selected another 10 minutes. The rice still was not done, close, but not done. Frustrated I punched another 10 minutes and wondered what the fuck is so great about this stupid thing when it’s taking 30 minutes to cook when the recipe said 10.. what’s so “instant” about that anyway?

My third experience was potatoes. Mashed potatoes. No, the gadget does not mash them, I still had to do that myself, but if an instant pot ever comes out that mashes potatoes, I’m buying it. Anyway, back to the stupid fiasco that is my life in the kitchen. This pot has so many fucking buttons and not one of them is used by this recipe. Stupid recipe anyway. I finally decided on one and set it to instant pot the potatoes, only 20 minutes later it’s still not counting down, which means it hasn’t built pressure. I forgot to slide the steamer tab to closed. AGAIN. Stupid idea anyway. At that point, I’d have been better off using the damn stove!

MtnMan asked me later if I’ve come around to liking it and oddly enough, with all the frustrations aside, I think I have! I love the idea of it being easy one day and it’s not going to be until I work out the kinks of learning something new. I’m not sure what I’m making next, but it’s going to be amazing and I will remember to close the fucking pressure valve!

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