Oh, DB’s. They Can Be Amusing… Sometimes

These conversations were all within ten minutes…

Him: Do you want to fuck my 11 inches?

Me: Yep. Do you want to join my gold show?

Him: Come over to my place and get this 11 inch cock.

Me: Yep. I’ll do just that, after the gold show. You have to join if I’m going to leave this cushy bed for yours, though.

Him: Nah. I’m not up for that. I want the real thing.

Me: Yeah. You don’t seem like a douche bag at all. Have fun with your “11 incher” and g’luck finding someone to hook up with on this cam site.

Him: Fuck off you ugly bitch

Me: That’s nice. *banned*

******

Him: Hey, do you remember me? I’m your favorite British cock with a big dick.”

Me: I do remember you! How have you been? (then I check his stats. He hasn’t been on since 2011!)

Him: Let’s go private and have some fun

Me: What are you in the mood for?

Him: You know what I like.

Me: Um. No, actually I don’t. You haven’t been on since 2011.. I’m not sure how it is in the UK, but here in America that’s a few years…

Him: Wow. I’m hurt… (then leaves butt hurt)

******

Him: Oh wow. I knew I recognized you. You look just like my kid.

Me: *HUGE eye roll* Wow. I look like your kid. I hear I have a familiar face.

Him: No. You really do.

Me: Okay. Soooooo, how are you doing today?

Him: great, thanks.

Me: Good, glad to hear it. What’s going on today?

Him:  Nothing.

Me: *silence*

Him: Fuck you. Here’s your big fucking eye roll. Enjoy your fake orgasm for the $10 bucks you’ve gotten for this gold show you fake bitch.

Me: Wow. That was a delayed response to my eye roll that was at least five minutes ago. Do you feel better? Go on, let it out in someone else’s room. *kicked*

Me: It has to be a full moon. What else could be the cause for such douche baggery…

Me: (After checking the calendar) Nope. Not a full moon. The universe hates me. LOL.