Holiday Rant!

Last week I dropped Devil off at Poker and drove to the liquor store to get vodka for Dawn Marie; she loves a local brand that is not yet in the PHX area. Once I loaded up on that I strolled over to Charming Charlies in search for a purse that I would not hate. That is called “high hopes”. For those of you not familiar with Charming Charlies is an accessory store – full of bracelets, purses, scarfs… you know, stuff.

I walked into Santa’s workshop. Christmas music was playing, the staff was excited and happily setting up displays for the mad craze called Christmas shopping and they were even wearing furry boots and ugly sweaters. To put things into perspective, this was one full week before Thanksgiving.

I was focused on finding a purse, and only a purse. I was on a mission. The staff who was dancing around, talking about Christmas and how much they love the holiday’s did not even strike a nerve with me. That is how much I hate shopping.

It wasn’t until I had to step over snow and around strands of lights that I was truly irked. I walked into a store to buy a purse, not to be slapped in the face with Christmas when I am excited about Thanksgiving.

If that was not enough to make me hate Santa, my hairdresser has her tree up already and another place has wreaths and fucking bowls of balls all over the place.

The small towns around us already has their town trees and all of the lights turned on and I want to shoot an arrow at Santa to deflate him, just out of spite!

When did Thanksgiving become so irrelevant? I understand that it is big commerce who is pushing the cheer on us before we can even finish our turkey dinner, but it is us who support them.

It is true, I have always been a grinch, of sorts. Even as a kid, I was disgusted by my peers who could only talk about what they were getting, what they expected. I enjoyed putting the tree up with Mom, but it was usually a few days before the 25th and then it was down the next day. That was enough excitement for me, and when we were young we had five gifts to open and by our senior year we had one. Mind you, I am a twin, but I don’t think that would have changed had I been the only child.

I wish we would all slow down and enjoy Thanksgiving. It is a day to be thankful and to reconnect, not to go out and spend money. It is the day for family and friends and eating more than you should and taking a nap if you so desire. It is not the day to fucking shop and fight the mass of crazy people. NO! Just say no!

I have to admit I was livid last night when I drove through a small town near us and saw their town tree lit up and all of their street lights cheerfully wishing me a “MERRY CHRISTMAS”. I would like to shove merry up Santa’s asshole! Seriously! What happened to Thanksgiving? It is still six days away!

Santa stole Thanksgiving and it makes me very sad!